Forgiveness is regularly preached

We are taught that Jesus died to forgive our sins

   which He did.

  yet there is a time ...

 

      an example

    One night I was receiving prayer ministry which was progressing

    when the facilitator prompted me to ask God to forgive my parents.

        I stopped and said

   "If I forgive my parents you are going to celebrate that and tell me all is well 

    I need to face  what they did to me first"

         from memory it took around three years  for the wrongs against me to surface

            in face maybe a few incidents still remain.

     he moved into a state of impatience and screamed at me  demanding I forgive

           in a period of verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse.

          I no longer trusted him.

           he put me under a condemnation I did not deserve and was unwarrented

             it was a clear breach of trust and an abuse of power.

 

    far too many times premature forgiveness has been demanded

•      before we were ready
•      when we were not equipped
•      when it was demanded when forgiveness is an act of  unmerited grace from God.

 

 

 

Forgiveness should not be forced

A survivor may need time

    to face what was done

     in order to forgive.

otherwise the underlying issue

   may remain unresolved

when underlying issues

  need to be faced

  as one has the strength to do so

and to be resolved.

 

our minds are looking for resolution

 

work with sexual assault counsellors

 

the context is trauma

and the need for trauma release

Most of us have throughout

our lives have been blamed

for what we

were not responsible for

Can you forgive us?

 

 

Have you told us of God's grace?

 

 

As most survival strategies

go against cultural norms

we were constantly judged

 

oh that we had met

trauma informed people

who understand us

 

We needed to hear

that we are forgiven

for our wrongs

Why all too often are survivors of sexual abuse, even rape,

judged for what is basically numbing the pain

often in a place of abandonment

told to forgive the sexual offender?

 

 It's like a man being told to repay $100

after forgiving the man who owed him

one million dollars !

 

think about it.

Some found healing after forgiving.   It happens.

 

but one should not argue from the specific to the general.

 

For many of us  forgiveness negates bitterness

                                               and resentment

and healing comes later

because we need  gradual healing.

 

 healing from trauma takes time  

one step at a time